Sonya LaRae: Editor-in-Chief
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Okay my Fabulous LaPazions let me start off by apologizing to you all for the late post on this past Monday nights MissAdvised;-), new reality show on Bravo at 10pm (Check your local listings).
Now, with all that out of the way, I have to just get right into the show. This week the theme of the show was about “Rules,” and are they important to follow. Just to make sure you all are very clear None and I mean NONE of these ladies follow any of the rules that they give to their clients nor followers. The show starts off with our girl Julia-who lives in LA you remember her the “Player”:
Julia, as you know has relocated to the West Coast, to pursue her career and well needless to say who does she receive a phone call from? None other than Keith Polleck of Elle Magazine. This is Julia’s dream job and she has been waiting for this chance longer than probably any of us could even dream of. Then Keith states he’d like to meet with her and to discuss a few ideas and also if she would bring a few articles to the table. She then gives us a total meltdown prior to her meeting with Keith over dinner, this is a woman whose mother wrote speeches for Nixon.. HELLO!! (We will come back to her)
We head to San Francisco, with our Live Radio Sex Therapist Emily Morse. Its so funny to really watch the dynamics between Emily and her Co-Host, its just beyond words that he just is really there to just show her up to be someone who needs help in her relationships:
Emily, has Ray Luv who is well was a Rapper back in the day (I cannot say that I know nor have I heard of him). Anyway, on the show its like Emily looses control of the show and Ray and her Co-host take over and they begin to interview her. Well come to find out she (Emily) hasn’t had sex in over 2 months; which just blows Ray’s mind and her is like building the sexual tension between him and Emily (side note: In all honesty he is doing it for himself, we don’t see it from Emily in all honesty so just picture that for a moment) now back to what I was saying. While they are in the middle of this HOT subject Ray Luv out of the blue just ask Emily out on a date. You ever see when you catch someone in a lie and their facial expression or maybe you’ve seen a deer caught in headlights that is the look that Emily is Rocking! LOL!! Loved that moment priceless! (I’ll come back to her)
We’re off to New York to Amy Laurent, you know the Matchmaker who cannot match herself with the right person if we paid her. Anyway, you know she is still in love with her Ex but, she is determine to make sure she denies this as long as we shell watch:
Amy gives us this long explanation on her logic of NEVER date anyone younger than you are because, its a total waste of time and that they aren’t ever able to really relate but, then she is introduced to this really sexy and may I say handsome guy. Amy then states well this is the one time that I’m going to go against everything that I have said and made the rule regarding. You’ll never believe she starts this date off with a back handed compliment to this guy. (Don’t go anywhere we’re going back to Julia)
Now Julia, is getting ready to go and pitch her ideas to Keith Polleck of Elle. When she gets there lets just say she instantly goes into diarrhea of the mouth (Side Note: Julia, says to us sometimes when I’m nervous I tend to run on) Let me tell you all she did just that. It looked like Keith’s eyes had rolled up into his head and then he fogged over and just couldn’t take it so, he just jumps in and says well we’re thinking that you could give us a few article ideas and present them to us, Julia says well her is my idea I’m thinking of I can write and article that is about me being more or less my own guinea pig of Love – By the time Julia got to her true idea after all the talking Keith was so spun out that he said look present it to us by Friday. Julia then, says to him that she couldn’t do that and to give her until Monday and I think just so she would shut up and stop talking he said quickly Friday is just fine. I swear it feels so like Julia is trying to be the Carrie Bradshaw of the 3 ladies. Then we head back to Julia’s house and her roommate PJ comes in with her trainer and I swear to you, she acted like this horny enraged woman that may attack the poor guy at any moment. Then she tells him look I’m totally objectifying you and Todd was just not the sharpest guy in the house he didn’t even know what she meant but, he wasn’t feeling her at all and immediately went into setting her up with a friend of his. LOL!! Julia, is so desperate to meet his friend Chris that she is becoming pushy and acting like some sort of crazy teenage girl with no clue.
Okay I just must tell you about the Julia and Chris date. Okay so he shows up and her is tall, olive and handsome and she is like drooling and panting. She needed a bib in the worse way possible. Then they get to the beach and she is acting like some giddy little school girl and they have to pick teams and you know its Chris and Julia as a team and PJ and Todd who the connection is very organic and feels natural. Needless to say Chris and Julia go off for a little walk and their is an exchange of words and Julia, acting like some sort of little girl. Tell you how High school this date is they start playing Spin the bottle (Side note: Did I mention this is suppose to be a professional sex therapist) So, the bottle lands on Chris and he gives Julia a kiss on her cheek and I thought her head was going to blow off of her. Hello this man is just meeting you and I know if her felt like I did, I’m so not sure I want to really be here and I did this for my boy so he could score with PJ. Well the end of the date is coming and they are saying good night and PJ and Todd have this long and passionate kiss with each other and she walks him downstairs so; Julia and Chris can say good night.
Julia, proceeds to start acting like this starved, love hungry and never been kissed chic. I mean she jumped on the poor guy and was hanging on to him for dear life and insisting he was going to give her a real kiss on the mouth and she was going to do everything and anything to get that kiss. I cannot begin to tell you all of her so called professionalism was just lost and she is some sort of stalker chic. Chris made it out the door with all of his body parts and he was probably scared for the rest of his life and will never speak to his boy Todd ever again.. It was so ugly and embarrassing. I really hope that when she looks back at this footage that she sends flowers to apologize and she pays for the next 3 months of counseling.
Okay let me take you back to Emily in San Fran: Now she goes out on this date with Ray Luv who first of all is African American and he isn’t very handsome and trust us he isn’t her type but, because she has this logic of never say never or no she goes out with Ray. Needless to say he is still feeling the sexual tension between them which isn’t there and Emily is looking for ways to really get out of the date. Then to top everything off he says that he has a surprise for her and wants her to go and meet her friends. I couldn’t believe where he takes her!! I mean the man takes her to a strip club and these woman are shacking there rear-ends and boobs in her face and he is loving it and feels that Emily is having the time of her life. I saw her dignity leave and it tried to signal for her to come with it but, it was gone. I think Emily is learning that Rules are something to really be followed and that she must set a few boundaries sooner than later because she is out with Ray Luv need I really say any more!
Now back to Amy, and her young sexy date who decides its going to be fun and romantic to take her ice skating. I have to interject her because if you saw her outfit that she selected to go out in please it was so missing the point of a first date. Needless to say Amy found fault with this because it wasn’t something that she per-say as a “Grown” woman would do. Her stiff and ridged way makes it like its beneath her to go ice skating; she just made something out of nothing. Oh wait so then after they pretend to ice skate they go to this cute little restaurant, to grab a bit to eat and then she starts off by ordering a Hot Chocolate but, then she give the guilt talk of if she drinks it the calories and this that and the other and Lewis is like but, its fun and you can let go for one day and enjoy the fun things. Let me just state that statement was totally wasted on her and fell on dead ears.
I have to go back to Julia cause she is such a mess and things are just raging out of control on this end. Now they decide to show the fella’s around the house and we get to Julia’s room and it is so Pink that it reminds you of the great stomach medication Pepto. This room looks like some young teenaged girls room and then that just opened up a whole other discussion in my head and that I just felt like this woman holds a ton of issues.. Now back to Amy she has this rule that you never call the guy after a date, he calls you well needless to say she broke her rule and calls Lewis and the whole time she is dialing the phone and then the phone starts to ring I find myself saying out loud “Lewis Don’t Answer the Phone Run just Run, While You Have the Chance.” I know that is so bad but seriously this woman is not the one for this sexy young guy
You all must tune into this show next week on Monday, Night on Bravo at 10pm after the Housewives of New York. This show will catch you up and in no time flat you’ll be adding comments to this blog and discussing the show over drinks with your girlfriends.
Until next week!
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